Rainy Days and Fridays

Today is one of “those” days. I woke up this morning with sleepy eyes and the rain, and it hit me: I felt sad. I haven’t felt sad every day, I should note. But today, for some reason, I felt sad. And I felt lonely too. There are other people in the house and the neighborhood, but I don’t know the neighbors yet, and Renee and Ekua spend most of their time in their room. I’m a living room type of girl. I like to sit there and my family likes to sit there too, all chatting away. So I’m by myself often, which is not something I’m used to. I enjoy my own company, but it’s always a lesson relearned when you move to a new place. I woke up with a strong desire to go to Adenta today. I haven’t made the move to go, and instead asked my old friends to come for a visit. I really miss my old neighborhood, when I would hang out with all the neighbors after work until bedtime. And they aren’t even walking distance—they are, approximately, two tro-tros with 1 hr 15 min. away, in mild traffic. And that idea of being by yourself in new environments hit me again as I read my friend Denny’s blog post about realizing that there will just be those times while she is in Mozambique that she will be by herself. Being by yourself isn’t physically tough (except when you feel threatened), it’s more mental and emotional stamina that is tested. This is just another test of that stamina, and I know from past experiences, that I will be fine. I have been chatting with my friend Melissa about her recent move to Bogota, and it is nice to have friends in similar situations, because they don’t simply pat me on the head and tell me I’m fine. They listen to me talk about my emotions and I listen to them talk about theirs, and we remind each other that we have a wonderful opportunity before us and all things take time. To steal Denny’s words: “Part of the beauty of it is that I am going alone.” There’s no better environment to learn to fully love yourself, enjoy your own company, and learn so many new things about yourself than a new one. I wrote a poem last time I was in Ghana about learning to be alone, I must recall now:

Alone Time

Red dust between the toes

All over my clothes

And my hair and my skin

It is getting into my system

The same way I have

Learned the system of

A quiet room

The soft sounds of music

And the humming of the fan

And the quick noise of a sigh

A content sigh

Learning to live alone

 

Tomorrow I am going to a wedding and Sunday I am going to church with a friend. It will be nice to be surrounded by lots of people and make new friends. I’m going to put on some music now and let Relient K remind me that, “Something tells me that this is going to make sense. Something tells me it’s going to take patience. Something tells me that this will all work out in the end.”

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2 thoughts on “Rainy Days and Fridays

  1. Great post; i am actually alone frequently, having grown up as an only child. But something in me is afraid of moving to a new country or a new place, because it’ll mean giving up all the friends and connections I’ve already made here, only to start with a clean slate. But the beauty is that over time, this too will be a place you’ll develop some beautiful and lasting friendships. And that will be a wonderful moment.

    1. Thanks, Akhila. I’m sure that when the time is right, you too will be able to have such a new experience and find that you are much braver at doing it than you thought!

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